Toasted Speeches

88anza88 asked:

Hes now 19, and for his birthday speech, he starts off chanting “DRUNK MOTHER SPEECH!” and then mumbles, and then passes right back out

ABSOLUTELY FREE FUNNY WEDDING TOASTS & SPEECHES! TAKE A LOOK

Rizz asked:


I don’t exactly need an actual speech. Just suggestions as to what to put in it or bits of nice comments that would be nice to put into the speech. It’s my second time being a candle and yehh. Don’t have much experience lol. She’s my godmother’s daughter but we aren’t that close. We’re more like aquaintances and not friends because we hardly see each other (she’s older than me by a year or two). So I need a speech that’s not TOO personal. Like, I can’t talk about funny moments that we’ve shared or memories. But then again don’t want to sound too impersonal and seem like I don’t give a damn. lol.
Well suggestions are very welcome & thanks in advance for those who give a ’serious’ answer !!!

eiji_kikumaru15 asked:


can someone please give a funny introduction with my birthday speech? just a funny introduction and i will do the rest.
thank you

WANT TO LAUGH YOUR **** OFF? FUNNY SPEECHES!

Bubba S asked:


well tommorow is my 13th birthday but we are celbrating it today cause everyone has to work tommorow so i just wanted to say this little funny speech and here’s wat i got :” Friends, family thank you for gathering here on the most important day of the year( my birthday).first of all let me say i just found out this morning i’m growing a little mustchace and it better that my mom’s and secondly i’d like to say……….”

that’s all i got so far eexcept the part where i ask my grandad to take me to the strip club next week so how can i make this speech better a nd funnier?

LAUGH AT CRAZY FUNNY SPEECHES

lilzozx asked:


Speech:
Hello, today im going to briefly introduce myself to u. as u all know my name is - im originally - & holding a - nationality, i come from a city called -, its prosperous with its great places. i live in a house full of love, having amazing parents, 3 sisters & an adorable brother.
my birthday is on -, which tell that im an aquarian woman. as said about aquarian women & i myself find it true is that its hard for us to make friends, but once made, the friendship is sincere and everlasting. my number 1 hobby is everything concerning art then comes basketball, vollyball & travelling.
the idea of losing some1 i care about scares me,i consider this as a weak point in me besides being sensitive.i joined college on - majoring in marketing & planing to finish my bachelor degree. working with my father last summer was a turning point in my life that has also helped me understand my major. my biggest challenge in life is to accomplish a remarkable thing in art besides my major.

LAUGH AT CRAZY FUNNY SPEECHES

Rick asked:


President Gives Cheney Strong Support
But has his rifle confiscated.

Cuban Foreign Minister Says Fidel Will Celebrate 80th Birthday in December
But due to illness, will cut his speech to 8 hours.

KFC to Stop Using Trans Fats
Will switch to healthier motor oil.

Male Panda in Zoo to Be Shown
Porn Video After Dinner in
Hopes He’ll Mate
“Works for me.” says zookeeper.

Bra That Converts To Shopping Bag Comes in Handy
Especially at nudist camp gift shops.

THE BEST FUNNY SPEECHES! GO NOW