Toasted Speeches

executioner3000 asked:

Harvey’s birthday speech

THE BEST FUNNY SPEECHES! GO NOW

dshariff asked:


Dear parents and teachers, Thank you for coming here today to our 6th grade graduation. Before I talk about how awesome this year has been, all of us here would like to thank the parents and the teachers for helping us make this year so memorable. The motivation of our teachers and parents has kept us all going and has made this year a successful one. In words it would be hard to show our appreciation towards you guys so the least we can do is give you a round of applause (applause).

Thank you parents. So back to my speech. This last week has been lots of fun. I wish every year the graduation was like this. Leaving Serrano, I feel sad because I have been at this school since kindergarten and when I look back I am leaving a place from where I learned so much. Sure I got bored a lot during math along with another 90 students but now after 7 years, I have grown attached to Serrano and it’s almost like my second home. Almost. We leave this school with many memories and for some of us many missing homework assignments. Something that I learned this year is that there is always a good side to a problem and I know that next year we will all be going to C.V. and that’s also a good school.

GET INSTANT ACCESS TO WEDDING SPEECH TEMPLATES!

GetLoose asked:


Please help me. I just got chosen to present the speech and I need something fun and that can related to us teens. I put the word ‘crunk’ somewhere in it and they said I couldn’t put that. So I need something modern, funny, and appropriate. Thank you!

FUNNY FATHER OF THE BRIDE SPEECHES

tammyj_1971 asked:


My fiance’ is having his younger brother stand up as his Best Man in 10 days. His brother, lets call him “BILL”, is a bit of a nut. He does a LOT of funny voices, and always gets laughs where ever he goes. I’ve caught wind of him planning to do his Best Man toast in his “Arnie”. (from the Movie, “what’s Eating Gilbert Grape”….Arnie was the mentally retarded boy played by Leonardo diCaprio….. Anyways… I think it would be HILARIOUS…. and so does my Fiance’….

HOWEVER…. I actually HAVE a mentally disabled cousin. And my youngest son is also Mentally Disabled. While WE know he’s not poking fun at people with disabilities, some of the other guests may not find this funny at all.

Should I send word back through the grape vine that “Arnie” should NOT be making the toast? (Cuz I bet the weird Chinese guy could do it instead.)
Thanks everyone, for your help in this delicat4e matter. I had my finace’ speak to his brother and “Bill” had some rather heartfelt feelings to share. It seems “Bill” is worried that people will not like him for who he really is. So rather than reveal his true self, he hides behind his impersonations. Yes, he HAD planned for “Arnie” to give the toast. After revealing his fears to us, he asked us who we would like to give our toast. (to select from his cast of characters) We requested that he do the character of “Bill”, the ypounger brother of a man very much in love!!

ABSOLUTELY FREE FUNNY WEDDING TOASTS & SPEECHES! TAKE A LOOK